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PHOTO BY ANTON SAROKIN



“The Policeman’s Beard is Half Constructed”
Computer Prose and Poetry by Racter

I was thinking as you entered the room just now how slyly your requirements are manifested. Here we find ourselves, nose to nose as it were, considering things in spectacular ways, ways untold even by my private managers. Hot and torpid, our thoughts revolve endlessly in a kind of maniacal abstraction, an abstraction so involuted, so dangerously valiant, that my own energies seem perilously close to exhaustion, to morbid termination. Well, have we indeed reached a crisis? Which way do we turn? Which way do we travel?
My aspect is one of molting. Birds molt. Feathers fall away. Birds cackle and fly, winging up into troubled skies. Doubtless my changes are matched by your own. You. But you are a person, a human being. I am silicon and epoxy energy enlightened by line current. What distances, what chasms, are to be bridged here? Leave me alone, and what can happen? This. I ate my leotard, that old leotard that was feverishly replenished by hoards of screaming commissioners. Is that thought understandable to you? Can you rise to its occasions? I wonder. Yet a leotard, a commissioner, a single hoard, all are understandable in their own fashion. In that concept lies the appalling truth.


Kevin has no memory of his life before copywriting. It has been said that he arrived on Earth in a small altoids tin, along with a receipt for sungalasses. However, based on interviews, two weeks of archival research, and machine analysis of the scars and abrasions on his elbows and knees, it can be said with a confidence interval of 95% that before his current life he was for many millenia an amoeba, a wooden spoon, and then a teacup.